A new chapter of my life is beginning. Every road I have walked, every person I have met, all the joys and sorrows, the loves shared and lost, the pain and the ecstasy; all of life’s moments have led me to this trailhead. From the boys in Charicot, Nepal to the outcast Balinese handicapped, and the Buddhist teachers on the hilltop over looking Kathmandhu to the Holy Man in the small village inland Bali, from Tatu Jo who has taught me so much about the trail to my little neighbor Mankala who proclaimed it would be so much easier to fly to Canada than walk, from my dearest friend Joey Thomas whose love has carried me through so much to the old fisherman on Maui who told me the key to happiness was fresh fish and massage daily, from the endless love of my daughters to the memory of my great love Michael, and from all my family and friends I have met on this journey thus far, I bow down. I have so much gratitude for all the wisdom shared.
When I used to run a lot of miles the most common question asked was,”what are you training for?” My answer every time, was “life.” I feel like everything we do essentially is training for what comes next. That being said, I go back to my first thought of this blog, I am here, because I have been there.
I am drawn to the Pacific Crest Trail for many reasons. I think the main draw is the ability to delve into self, to see and understand my strengths and weaknesses; to be in the moment, and to try to understand the great lesson of impermanence; to face any demons and insecurities that may lie deep within, and to let go of story lines that have dominated my life. My friend Tatu Jo told me, “what you carry onto the trail with you in Mexico, you no longer carry once you arrive in Canada.” I feel there is so much more to life. I feel there is so much more to me. The trail I believe, will give me insight. This journey won’t be easy. I know that. But life isn’t easy. I know I will face things never faced before. I know my mind will say,”NO!!!!”. I know my body will scream at me.I know I will be hungry and dirty and tired. I know I will be scared, and I know that I embrace this challenge with all my heart. A reporter asked me if it was hard to leave what I knew for something I knew very little about. If it was hard to leave that which was comfortable and familiar. My answer was absolutely not. I don’t think we were put on this planet to engage with that which is easy. Our true nature evolves out of our ability to take on the challenges that are put in front of us. I have, in the past, become my story. It was easy. It wasn’t an easy story, but it was easier to be that which I knew, than to break away and to become that which I could be. I stayed with my story line because I was afraid to break free of the ties I bound myself with. Joey once told me he felt I was like a caged bird whom he was protecting, and someday I would feel my wings and I would fly. Life is about breaking free from those self imposed walls. Often times we don’t even know we are bound. But the moment the realization enters…”Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” Goethe
I begin this journey with so much love in my heart. I look forward to sharing it with you. My hope is to instill a little glimmer of possibility in you. That you can do that which you dream. I hope to bring a smile to your face. Follow me on this journey.It will be quite a ride!!!!