contemplation, wonder and curiosity

“Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it.”Goethe

IMG_0897I find myself back again  at these inspiring words of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. How many times in life do we allow a dream to diminish and fade, soon perhaps to be replaced by another, and then another. How many times have I in the span of my life come up with these magnificent plans, only to be disregarded because of fear?That fear resulting from ignorance. That ignorance arising out of inability to believe in self. How many times have I semi-committed and found some far-fetched excuse as to why it couldn’t possibly work ?

It almost happened when I re-discovered hiking. I searched for excuses. I searched for reasons I couldn’t possibly hike long distance. Something happened out there though. I think it was probably on the passes along the John Muir Trail. It was magic. A very raw, deep emotion came forth. At the top of each pass tears would form. Not just one tear falling from my face. But, a river of tears streaming down.  I remember thinking as the tears were falling that I was actually nurturing the earth. A man, who became a dear friend, that I was hiking with very gently questioned why? Why the tears? What are you thinking? I had no thought. Perhaps it was spiritual. Perhaps it was elation. Perhaps it was bliss.

I felt a deep transformation out there. I felt a connection with the mountains, the rivers and streams, the clean brisk air, and the energy of the wilderness.I was beginning to see new growth and rebirth all around me and it awakened hope from within. 

I find myself spending as much time as I can near the ocean, in these last days before I go.DSC02525 I have never spent so much time away from it as I will on this journey. I am curious about the time out there. How I will change, knowing that change is inevitable. I wonder if I will miss the strength and power I gain from the oceans magnificence? 

So many thoughts wandering in and out of my consciousness. What will happen here, at home, while I am gone? What changes will transpire? But, I find myself resonating with the words of Peter Bradley Adams in the following lyrics:

“Somewhere in this lonely world, there is a place I belong. I have seen its fields and streams; they have been revealed in my dreams. You see I can not settle down. There’s just too much left unfound. I keep drifting like a cloud on the wind. Loved ones and friends, lost along the way. I hope they have no ill words to say. Because I have cried so many tears , lost so many friends, throughout the years. I must keep traveling on, to find the place where I belong, and if I travel till I die, I will make my home somewhere in the sky. Because, I can not settle down. Like a cloud drifting on the wind.”

I am on the path I should be on and I am so stoked for this journey, this life and what it holds around the next corner. Bring it on!!!

 

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2 thoughts on “contemplation, wonder and curiosity

  1. Very beautiful.. It has been said that one who walks in the four directions with no plan but an open heart will find the answers to the questions. They will find the truth of who they are, and the mountains will bring you to a strength in your heart that you never new was there.. Keep walking towards the sun and with each step the past will shed, and new light will begin to heal the pain from the past, and brighten your new days to come!

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